A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. “Listen,” said the shoplifter, “I know you don‘t want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?”
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, “This is a little more than I intended to spend.”
翻译：
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样？”
经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。”
shoplifter（商店扒手）
crook（骗子，坏蛋）
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically , she called to the father outside.
“Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes! What shall I do?”
Yelled back the father, “Keep feeding him nickels!”
翻译：
母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去，她立刻将他抱起，头朝下不停地拍打他的后背，他咳出了两枚一角的硬币，她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道：
“你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币，可咳出两枚一角的硬币！我该怎么办呢？“
孩子他爸大声回答道：“再喂他几枚五分镍币！”
Frantically（疯狂似地）
