I grew up in Jamaica Plain, an urban community located on the outskirts of Boston, Massachusetts. In the 1940‘s it was a wholesome, quaint little community. It was my home and I loved it there; back then I thought I would never leave. My best friend Rose and I used to collectively dream about raising a family of our own someday. We had it all planned out to live next door to one another.
Our dream remained alive through grade school, high school, and even beyond. Rose was my maid of honor when I got married in 1953 to the love of my life, Dick. Even then she joked that she was just one perfect guy short of being married, thus bringing us closer to our dream. Meanwhile, Dick aspired to be an officer in the Marines and I fully supported his ambitions. I realized that he might be stationed far away from Jamaica Plain, but I told him I would relocate and adjust. The idea of experiencing new places together seemed somewhat romantic to me.
So, in 1955 Dick was stationed in Alaska and we relocated. Rose was sad to see me leave, but wished me the best of luck. Rose and I remained in touch for a few years via periodic phone call but after awhile we lost track of one another. Back in the 1950‘s it was a lot more difficult to stay in touch with someone over a long distance, especially if you were relocating every few years. There were no email addresses or transferable phone number and directory lookup services were mediocre at best.
I thought of her several times over the years. Once in the mid 1960‘s when I was visiting the Greater Boston area I tried to determine her whereabout but my search turned up empty-handed. Jamaica Plain had changed drastically in the 10 years I was gone. A pretty obvious shift in income demographics was affecting my old neighborhood. My family had moved out of the area, as did many of the people I used to know. Rose was nowhere to be found.
52 years passed and we never spoke. I‘ve since raised a family of five, all of whom now have families of their own, and Dick passed away a few years ago. Basically, a lifetime has passed. Now here I am at the doorstep to my 80th birthday and I receive a random phone call on an idle Wednesday afternoon. “Hello?” I said. “Hi Natalie, it‘s Rose,” the voice on the other end replied. “It‘s been so long. I don‘t know if you remember me, but we used to be best friends in Jamaica Plain when we were kid” she said.
We haven‘t seen each other yet, but we have spent countless hours on the phone14)catching up on 52 years of our lives. The interesting thing is that even after 52 years of separation our personalities and interests are still extremely similar. We both share a passion for several hobbies that we each picked up independently several years after we lost touch with one another. It almost feels like we are picking up right where we left off, which is really strange considering the circumstances.
Her husband passed away a few years ago as well, but she mailed me several photographs of her family that were taken over the years. It‘s so crazy, just looking at the photos and listening to her describe her family reminds me of my own; a reasonably large, healthy family. Part of me feels like we led fairly similar lives.
I don‘t think the numerous similarities between our two lives are a coincidence either. I think it shows that we didn‘t just call each other best friend we truly were best friend and even now we can be best friends again. Real friends have two things in common: a compatible personality and a strong-willed character. The compatible personality is what initiates the connection between two people and a strong-willed character at both ends is what maintains the connection. If those two ingredients are present in a friendship, the friendship is for real, and can thus sustain the tests of time and prolonged absence without faltering.
我在牙买加平原长大,那是美国马萨诸塞州波士顿市郊的一个城镇。在20世纪40年代,那是个生气勃勃而又老式别致的小社区。那是我的家乡,我热爱的地方。那时,我以为自己永远不会离开。我最好的朋友罗斯和我常常一起梦想着有一天各自拥有自己的家庭。我们什么都计划好了,还想着以后要挨着住,做邻居。
我们的这一梦想历经小学、中学,甚至之后的岁月,从未变更。1953年当我嫁给我一生的挚爱——迪克时,罗斯是我的伴娘。那时,她甚至开玩笑说,她就差结婚了,要不就完美了——这样就可以离我们的梦想更近了。就在那时,迪克决心成为一名海军陆战队军官,而我则全力支持他的雄心壮志。我意识到,他可能会在牙买加平原以外很远的地方驻扎,不过我告诉他我可以重新安家并适应下来。和他一起体验新天地的生活,这想法对我来说有些浪漫。
于是,1955年迪克被安排驻扎在阿拉斯加时,我们搬家了。罗斯对我的离开感到很难过,但仍祝我好运。接下来的几年里,我们通过定期打电话来保持联络,但不久我们便失去了彼此的音讯。20世纪50年代那会,要想和远方的人保持联络并不太容易,特别是当你每隔几年就要搬家时。那时还没有电子邮箱或者搬家不换号的服务,姓名地址查询服务也不甚完善。
这些年来,我有好几次想起了她。20世纪60年代中期,有一次在我去大波士顿区时,我尝试追寻她的下落,但却搜寻未果。在我离开后的10年里,牙买加平原发生了巨变。外来人口的大量迁入影响了我的旧社区。我家早已搬离了那个地区,从前认识的邻居中有很多也搬走了。罗斯则杳无音讯,无迹可寻。
52年过去了,我们再未说过话。后来,我有了一个五口之家,现在孩子们也全都有了自己的家庭,而迪克也在几年前去世了。基本上,我的一生就这么过去了。如今,在我即将迈入八十大寿之际,一个空闲的周三下午我接到了一个陌生来电。“喂?”我打招呼道。“嗨,纳塔利,我是罗斯。”电话那头的声音回应道。“已经过了这么久了。我不知道你还记不记得我,过去还是小孩子的时候,在牙买加平原,我们是最好的朋友。”她说道。
我们到现在也还没再见过面,但我们花了很长的时间在电话里互诉了这52年里我们各自的生活。有意思的是,即使是分别了52年,我们的个性和兴趣仍然极其相似。我们都钟情于某些爱好,而那是在我们失去联络几年后各自养成的。这感觉简直就像我们才刚刚分别就又重聚了一样,考虑到现实情况,这确实让人感到有些奇怪。
她的丈夫也在几年前去世了,但她寄了几张那些年里拍的家庭合影给我。令人兴奋不已的是,仅仅是看着这些照片,听她描述着她的家庭就让我想起了我自己的家庭;一个相当健康的大家庭。内心深处,我感到我们有着极其相似的人生。
我们两个人的生命中有如此多的相似之处,我并不认为这仅仅是巧合。我认为这表示,我们视彼此为最好的朋友,不只是嘴上说的,而是真真切切地曾经为彼此最好的朋友,即使到了现在,我们还是可以成为最好的朋友。真正的朋友有两个共同点:相容的个性和坚强的品格。相容的个性是最初连接两人的纽带,而这一纽带的维系则有赖于双方所拥有的坚强品格。如果一段友谊里有着这两者的存在,那么这段友谊就是真的,这样一来,它就能经受住时间和长久分离的考验而毫不“褪色”。
