“Why don‘t you just rest your arms and let me push you?”
“No.”
“Your arms will get sorely. I‘ve been helping you do it for three months now.”
“I wheeled myself for 12 years before you came along.”
“But I don‘t like having to walk beside you while you push yourself!”
“Do you think I liked sitting helpless in your boat every weekend for the past two months?”
He never considered this and was shocked into silence. Finally he said quietly, “I never realized that, Amy. You‘re in a wheelchair all the time – I never thought you‘d mind sitting in the boat. It‘s the same thing.”
“It is not the same thing. In this chair, I can move by myself; I can go anywhere I need to go. That boat traps me so I can‘t do anything – I couldn‘t even save myself if something happened and I fell out.”
“But I‘m there. Don‘t you think I could save you or help you move or whatever it is you want?”
“Yes, but Charles – the point is I‘ve spent 12 years learning to manage by myself. I even live in a city that‘s miles from my family so I‘ll have to be independent and do things for myself. Being placed in the boat takes all that I‘ve won away from me. Can‘t you see why I object to it? I don‘t want to feel helpless.”
As they went down the path Charles selfishly only thought of his own needs, finally he lost control and said，”Amy, I need to have you dependent upon me.” He grabbed the wheelchair and pushed her along. She had to let go of the wheels or injure herself. He could not see the anger in her eyes, and it was just as well for it was an anger he would not have understood.
She would not answer her telephone the next morning but in his mail that afternoon came an envelope that he knew had come from Amy. The handwriting was not beautiful, but it was without question hers. Inside was only a card on which she had written:
If you want something badly enough,
You must let it go free.
If it comes back to you,
It‘s yours.
If it doesn‘t,
You really never had it anyway.
(Anonymous)
He ran out of his apartment, refusing to believe that Amy might no longer be in her home. As he was running towards her apartment, he kept hearing a roar in his ears: “You must let it go free; you must let it go free.”
But he thought: I can‘t risk it, she is mine, can‘t give her a chance not to belong to me, can‘t let her think she doesn‘t need me, she must need me. Oh God, I have to have her.
But her apartment was empty. Somehow in the hours overnight, she had packed – by herself -and moved by herself. The rooms were now impersonal; their cold stillness could not respond when he fell to the floor and sobbed.
By the middle of August he had heard nothing from Amy. He went often to the park but avoided looking for the white bird.
September came and had almost gone before he finally received a letter. The handwriting was without question hers. The postmark was that of a city many miles distant. He tore open the envelope and at first thought it was empty. Then he noticed a single white feather had fallen from it. In his mind, the white bird rose in flight and its wings let fly one feather. Were it not for the feather, no one would have known that the white bird had ever been. Thus he knew Amy would not be back, and it was many hours before he let the feather drop out of his hand.
翻译：
“你为什么不让自己的胳膊轻松一下，让我来推你呢？”
“不用。”
“你的胳膊会酸的。三个月来一直是我在推你呀！”
“可在你出现之前，我推了自己12年。”
“但我不愿你自己推自己而我却只能袖手旁观！”
“你以为过去两个月的每个周末，我就喜欢无可奈何地坐在你的船上吗？”
他从未考虑过这个问题，一时间惊讶得说不出话。最后他平静地说道：“我从未意识到这一点，艾米。你一直坐在轮椅里——我没想过让你坐在船上你会介意。我以为这是一回事。”
“这不是一回事。坐在轮椅里，我能自己行动，需要去哪儿就可以去哪儿。而那条船却困住了我，让我无计可施——万一发生什么事，我掉到了水里，我甚至连自救都不会。”
“可是有我在呀！难道你认为我救不了你，不能帮你活动或是干你想干的任何事吗？”
“你能。可是，查尔斯——问题在于我花了12年的时间才学会自理。我甚至孤身一人住在离家几英里远的城市，强迫自己独立，一切都由自己动手。把我放在船上等于剥夺了我所获得的一切。难道你不明白我为什么反对你那样做吗？我不想让自己感到懦弱无助。”
他们沿着小路继续往前走着，最后他失去了控制，说：“艾米，我需要你依赖我。” 查尔斯只在心里自私地想着自己的需要。他一把抓过轮椅，推着她飞跑起来。结果她只得把手从轮子上放开，以免伤着了自己。他看不到她眼眸中的愤怒，这样也好，因为那种愤怒不是他所能理解的。
第二天早上，她不愿接他打来的电话。不过下午，在他收到的邮件中有一封信，他知道那准是艾米写来的。字写得并不漂亮，但无疑是她的笔迹。里面只有一张卡片，她在上面写道：
如果你渴望爱情，
就必须给它自由。
倘若鸟儿回还，
它就不再飞走。
若它去无影踪，
你从未真正拥有。
（无名氏）
他冲出公寓大楼，不相信艾米会搬家。他朝她的公寓狂奔而去，一路上只有一个声音不绝于耳：“给它自由；你必须给它自由！”
但是他想：我不能冒这个险，她是我的；我决不能放手，决不能让她不属于我，决不能让她以为她不需要我；她一定需要我。哦，上帝，我必须得到她！
然而她的公寓空空如也。她一定是在头天夜里花了几个小时打好行装——自己动手——独自离去。此刻，房间里不再有任何生命的气息。他倒地啜泣，回答他的只有一片阴冷的寂静。
到了8月中旬，他依然没收到艾米的任何消息。他时常去公园，但总是小心翼翼地不去寻找那只小白鸟。
9月不觉来临，又即将悄然逝去，他终于收到了另一封熟悉的来信。无疑是她的笔迹。邮戳标明寄自另一个遥远的城市。他撕开信封，最初还以为里面空无一物，随后才发现有一根从信封中飘落的洁白羽毛。他的脑海里幻化出那只小白鸟，它振翅飞翔，一片羽毛从它的翅上抖落。倘若不是鸟儿在离去时留下这片羽毛为证，有谁会知道小白鸟曾经来过？他幡然醒悟：艾米再也不会回来了。不知过了多久，他才让那根羽毛从手中悄然滑落。
Tags:英语 故事 倘若 鸟儿
