A husband and wife,both 91,stood before a judge,asking for a divorce.”I don‘t understand,”He said,”Why do you want a divorce at this time of life?”
the husband explained “Well , you see,We wanted to wait until the children died.”
翻译
有一个丈夫和妻子都是91岁，他们站在法官面前，要求离婚。“我不明白，”法官说，“你们为什么到了这把年纪还要离婚？”
丈夫解释道：“嗯，你是知道的，我们以前是哟等到孩子们都死了。”
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. “All who want to go to heaven, please rise.” Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering “Be seated”, the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, “All those who want to be with the devil, please rise.”
Awaking with a start , the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit , “Well, sir,” he said, “I don‘t know what we‘re voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it.”
翻译
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来！”
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
Palmist: The life line in your hand tells that you will die in a year.
Customer: Good gracious! In a year?
Palmist: Yes, but I can‘t say in which.
翻译
手相大师：你手上的生命线显示出你还有一年将会死去。
顾客：天哪，一年后？
手相大师：是的，可是我不能说是哪一年。
