1.Now We Run
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, “And now what, my little man?” The boy replies, “Now we run!”
翻译：
现在我们跑吧
一个牧师正沿着街走路，这时他看到街对面有个小男孩正试图按一所房子的门铃。但这个小孩太小了，门铃又高，他够不着。看到那个小男孩费了很多劲，牧师走近了他。牧师优雅地穿过马路，走到小家伙的背后，轻轻地把手放在小男孩肩头，按响了门铃。他弯下身子，微笑着问道：“接下来怎么办，孩子？”小男孩回答说：“接下来我们跑。”
2.WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING
Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She
locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman
on the door: “NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING.”
When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:
”THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!”
翻译：
我们什么也没留下
布朗太太要外出一天。 她锁好了房门，在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条：“家里没人，请不要留下任何东西！” 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上，她发现被补充了一句：“谢谢！我们什么也没留下！”
3.Americans have a strong sense of humor.
Because everyone has ancestors, family and friends of every possible race, color, creed and national origin, and because sensitivity to such differences has reached unprecedented tenderness in recent years, it is considered rude to tell a joke that perpetuates an ethnic, social, religious, sexual, or racial stereotype. Nevertheless that still leaves plenty of material for humor, such as occupation, political persuasion, or region of origin. For example:
A Texan was boasting to an Arkansan about his ranch. “Why, my ranch is so big,” he said, “that if I start out in my truck in the morning to drive around it, it’s night by the time I get home.” The Arkansan nodded understandingly and said, “Yep. I had a truck like that once.”
The only group detested enough to be a suitable butt for barbed humor is lawyers. Lawyers are unpopular because they’re only consulted in times of distress. Any lawyer joke is sure to draw a laugh.
“Did you hear that medical laboratories have started using lawyers instead of white rats? There are more of them and there are some things even a laboratory rat just won’t do.”
Politicians are also fair game, but since approximately two-thirds of the nation’s congressional representatives are law school graduates, such jokes are really just a subset of the ’lawyer’ canon.
翻译：
美国人是很幽默的。
由于各人的祖先，家庭和朋友都有各自不同的种族，肤色，宗教信仰和民族渊源，又由于人们对这种不同之处的敏感在近几年来已经达到空前微妙的地步，因此，讲带有民族，社会，宗教，性或种族类别的笑话就被认为是很不礼貌的事。尽管如此，能构成幽默的素材仍然不少，如职业，政治信仰或出身地等。例如：
有一个得克萨斯人对一个阿肯色人吹嘘自己的牧场。“嗨，我的牧场可大了，”他说，“要是我早上开着卡车出门饶它走一圈，回到家时就是夜晚了。”那阿肯色人点了点头，满理解的样子，说，“是啊，我有过一辆卡车也是那么大。”
唯一的一帮不讨人喜欢而适宜当讽刺幽默靶子的人是律师。律师之所以不得人心是因为人们只是在烦恼的时候才去找他们。任何有关律师的笑话肯定是引人发笑的。
你听说了吗？医学实验室已经不用白鼠而开始用律师了。律师比白鼠多。而有些事就是实验室的老鼠也做不了的。
政治人物也是被讽刺的对象，不过既然约三分之二的国会议员都是法学院的毕业生，这些笑话也就是“律师全集”中的“分册”而已了。
