1.A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I‘m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I‘ve got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven‘t. I‘ve just dropped it.
翻译：
礼物
凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？
妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？
凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
2.Secret For a Long Life
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch（门廊） .
I couldn‘t help noticing how happy you look, she says. What‘s your secret for a long, happy life?
I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.
Wow, that‘s amazing, says the woman. How old are you?
Twenty-six.
翻译：
长寿秘诀
一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。
我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，那女士说。你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么？
我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。
哦，真神奇，女士说。你高寿？
二十六。
