1.Knife and Drum 刀和鼓
Ma: Pa, I don‘t think the neighbors like the new drum we got Johnny for Christmas.
Pa: Why not?
Ma: They gave him a knife and asked him if he knew what was in the drum.
翻译：
刀和鼓
妈：他爸，我怎么觉得邻居非常不喜欢咱们圣诞节时给约翰尼买的新鼓呢。
爸：为什么？
妈：他们给了他一把小刀，并问他是不是想知道鼓里面是什么样的。
2.An Essential Correction
Teacher: Walter, why don‘t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
Walter: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.
翻译：
实质性的纠正
老师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。
沃尔特：我吃了什么？
老师：鸡蛋。
沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。
3.It‘s not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): You mustn‘t pull the cat‘s tail.
Daughter: I‘m only holding it, Mom. The cat‘s doing the pulling.
翻译：
不是我的错
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
4.Two hunters
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing.
The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help.
The operator said calmly:”First, you should make sure that he is already dead.”
Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:”What should I do next?”
翻译：
两个猎人
两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。
接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
5.Wheres the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
“Look,” said the elder brother. “How nice these paintings are!”
“Yes,” said the younger, “but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”
翻译：
父亲在哪？
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”
哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
