1.rain
A small boy and his father were having a walk in the country when it suddenly began to rain very hard． They did not have their umbrella with them， and there was nowhere to hide from the rain， so they were soon very wet， and the small boy did not feel very happy． For a long time while they were walking home through the rain， the boy was thinking． Then at last he turned to his father and said to him，“Why does it rain， Father？ It isn‘t very nice， is it？” “No， it isn‘t very nice， but it‘s very useful，Tom，”answered his father．“It rains to make the fruit and the vegetables grow for us， and to make the grass grow for the cows and sheep．” Tom thought about this for a few seconds， and then he said，“Then，why does it rain on the road too， Father？”
翻译：
下雨
一个小男孩和他的父亲正在乡间行走，突然下起了大雨。 他们没带伞，加上四下无处可以躲雨，所以很快他们浑身上下被淋湿了，小男孩感到很不好受。 他们在雨中朝家走去，有好一会儿，那个男孩一直在思索着什么。后来终于他朝父亲转过脸去，问他说：“爸爸，为什么天会下雨呢？下雨可不太好，是吧？” “是呀，下雨是不太好，可是下雨也有很多有益的地方，汤姆。”父亲回答说。“老天爷下雨促使了为我们所食用的水果和蔬菜的生长，同样也促使牛羊所吃的青草的生长。” 汤姆对父亲的这番话想了一会，然后说：“那么，父亲，老天爷为什么还要把雨下在路上呢？”
2.Santas True Profession
Do You Know Santa‘s True Profession?
Consider the following:
1. You never actually see Santa, only his “assistants.”
2. Santa keeps his job until he decides to retire.
3. Santa doesn‘t really do the work; he directs a bunch of helpers to do all his work for him, but he‘s the one who everybody credits with the work.
4. Santa doesn‘t work a 40-hour week.
5. Santa travels a lot.
Santa is obviously a senior faculty member with tenure!
翻译：
圣诞老人的真实职业
圣诞老人的真实职业是什么？
考虑以下几点
1. 你其实从来没见过圣诞老人，你看见的都是他得助手（他得助手真的好多，除了过圣诞节的所有父母外，还有职业“圣诞老人”）
2. 圣诞老人不想退休，就可以一直当他的圣诞老人。
3. 圣诞老人不会做实事，他都是指挥一堆帮手帮他做完所有的事情，但是事情做得好还是不好，功绩和责任都算圣诞老人的。
4. 圣诞老人实行的可不是朝九晚五双休制。
5. 圣诞老人经常旅行
圣诞老人显然是一个高级职员（please, 这世界上还有比他的工作更好的工作吗？）
3.An Axe to Grind
A boy begs his father to get him a Christmas tree this year.
Each year, the boy asks and the father tells him, “I don‘t want to pay for it.”
But the son kept begging. Unable to bear his son‘s whining, he picks up his axe one day and heads out of the house.
Thirty minutes later he returns with a great big Christmas tree. “How did you cut it down so fast?” his son asks.
“I didn‘t cut it down,” the father replies.
“I got it at a tree lot.”
“Then why did you bring an axe?”
“Because I didn‘t want to pay.”
翻译：
勒索圣诞树
一个孩子求他爸爸，说能不能今年为家里准备一棵圣诞树
小男孩每年求他爸爸得到的都是同样的回答“我可不想为一棵树付钱。”（这个爸爸肯定不是基督教徒，而且还非常抠门）
但是小男孩不放弃的一直祈求，终于有一天，他爸被他的哀求折磨得受不了，他拿起一把斧子，直接冲出了门。
30分钟后，他爸爸带着一棵超大的圣诞树回到了加。他儿子问：“你怎么会砍得那么快？”
他爸爸回答到：“我不是砍的”
“我是从一个圣诞树销售中心拿的”
“那你为什么还要带把斧子去呢？”
“因为我不想付钱”（敢情这爸爸勒索啊）
4.I wasn‘t dead
A young man fell into a state of coma, but recovered before his friends had buried him. One of them asked what it felt like to be dead.
“Dead!” he exclaimed. “I wasn‘t dead. And I knew I wasn‘t, because my feet were cold and I was hungry.”
“But how did that make you sure?”
“Well, I knew that if I were in heaven I shouldn‘t be hungry, and if I was in the other place my feet wouldn‘t be cold.”
我还没死
一个年轻人昏死了过去，但是当他的朋友们要掩埋他的时候却又苏醒过来。他的一个朋友问他死的感觉是怎样的。
“死！”他喊道“我并没有死，我知道我没死，因为我的脚是凉的，而我又很饿。”
“你怎么能肯定你没死？”
“当然哪，我知道如果我上了天堂，我就不会觉得饿；如果我下到地狱，那我的脚就不会是凉的了。”
5.The right leg
The Right LegProctor（exceedingly angry）：“So you confess that this unfortunate freshman was carried to this frog pond and drenched？Now what part did you take in this disgraceful affair？” Soph．（meekly）：“The right leg，sir．”
右腿
学监（非常生气）：“现在你承认这可怜的新生被扔进这蛙池里，浑身湿透？那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢？”二年级学生（恭顺地）：“右腿，先生。”
