1.I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, “What happened?”
“A kid bit me,” replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you saw him again?” asked his mother.
“I‘d know him any where,” said Ivan. “I have his ear in my pocket.”
翻译：
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
2.Things Have Been Okay
A young couple was becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him.
Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, “Mom, the toast is burned.”
“You talked! You talked!” shouted his mother. “I‘m so happy! But why has it taken this long.”
“Well, up till now,” said the boy, “things have been okay.”
翻译：
一切都很好
一对年轻的夫妇对于他们四岁的儿子仍然不会说话这件事非常着急。他们带他去看专家，但是医生们找不出任何不正常的地方。
之后有一天早上，这个男孩突然说道：“妈妈，面包拷糊了。”
“你说话了！你说话了！”他的妈妈嚷道。“我真高兴！但是为什么要我们等这么长的时间呢？”
“嗯，直到现在，”男孩说，“每件事都很正常啊。”
3.Are you going to treat me?
An American actress came to China for the first time. One day when she was looking for her new Chinese friend after a performance, she came across an anxious Chinese who had always wanted to practice his English with native speakers, but had never found the chance. When he saw the actress, he went up and exchanged greetings, then started his practice.
“How old are you?”
“I’m sorry. Please don’t ask a lady about her age,” the actress said uneasily.
“How much do you earn each month?” the Chinese tried hard to recall this sentence from his textbook.
“Sorry again. We don’t feel like telling others about that either, “ she again refused to answer.
“Have you had lunch?” the Chinese tried again to show his traditional way of greeting.
“No, are you planning to treat me to a meal?’ she asked in surprise.
翻译：
要请客吗？
有位美国女演员首次来中国演出，有一天演出结束后在找她的中国朋友时，碰见一位总想与老外练讲英语的中国人，可惜他一直没有这样的机会。当看到这位女演员时，他走上前去互相问候，接着便练起英语来。
“你多大啦？”
“对不起，请不要问女士的年龄，”演员感到很不自在。
“你每月挣多少钱？”中国人极力回忆着教科书上的句子。
“对不起，我们也不愿意把这事告诉给人家。”她再次拒绝了对方。
“你吃过饭了吗？” 中国人再次用本民族的传方式询问对方。
“没有，你要请我吃饭吗？”她惊喜地问。
Tags:英语 笑话
