1.Way of Inducing
At the cleaner‘s, I noticed the sign “In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m. ” so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. “it won‘t be ready,” he said.
“But your sign says, ‘In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m.‘,” I reminded him.
“Oh,” he replied, “that means me.
翻译：
招客有方
在洗衣店，我看到招牌上写着：“上午10点进，下午5点出。”因此我就告诉店主我想在下午5点取衣。“下午5点还不能取，”他说。 “但是你的牌子上写着：‘上午10点进，下午5点出’，”我提醒他说。
“哦，”他回答说，“那指的是我。”
2.Bring me a glass of milk
At 2 a. m, Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living, room. “Tiptoe down-stairs,” she told her husband. “Don‘ t turn on the lights. Sneak up him before he knows what‘s happening
Dutifully Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, “And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk.”
翻译：
捎杯牛奶
半夜两点，科尔肯太太确信听到客厅有贼，便对丈夫说：“别开灯，蹑手蹑脚下楼，别让贼发觉，悄悄靠近他。”
科尔肯先生披上外套，责无旁贷地去捉贼。刚走到卧室门口，他妻子又补充说：“回来时给我捎杯牛奶。”
3.The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they‘ll build the fence?”
“I don‘t know, ” said the kangaroo. “Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
翻译：
袋鼠的能力
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上，人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺，但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火，又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺，但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠：“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高？” “我不知道，”袋鼠说，“如果他们继续开着大门，可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
4.As If Awakening From A Dream
A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, ” Alcohol can break down conjugal（婚姻的） relation, even cause your wife to leave you… “
A man shouts out at the news, “Give me another bottle of Brandy.”
翻译：
如梦初醒
以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……”
这时一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地！”
