Just want to take a day off
A big challenge of running a small business is dealing with employees‘ requests for time off. One morning an employee said, “I need to leave early tomorrow.” Later that same day, he followed up with, “Looks like I‘ll be coming in late tomorrow, but if my coming in late runs into my leaving early, then I won‘t be in at all.”
翻译：
——想请一天假
经营一家小公司的一个大挑战是对付员工的请假。 一天早上，一个员工说，“我明天得早点走”。同一天的晚些时候，他又接着补充说，“看来，我明天得晚点来。如果我迟到和早退的时间凑在了一起，那就是说我压根不会来了”。
Good place for smoking
Some people have a knack for remembering faces. Others, according to this e-mail I received at work, go them one better: “The only designated smoking area at Building One is at the picnic benches, under the covered area, where the butt distinguishers are.”
翻译：
——吸烟的好地方
有些人在记住别人的脸孔方面很有一手。 其他人，根据在上班时收到一封电邮，是有过之而无不及，电邮上写道：“一号楼唯一指定的吸烟区是在烧烤长凳那里，就在遮盖区的下面，烟头感应器就在那里”
Work closer to home
My friend‘s hour-and-a-half commute to work got old quickly—the time spent stuck in traffic was sending him over the edge. So I was happy for him when he found a new job closer to home.
”That‘s great,” I said. “What are you doing now?”
”I‘m a bus driver.”
翻译：
——离家近一点上班
我的一个朋友上下班得花一个半小时，他很快就受不了了—-堵车耗费的时间几乎让他崩溃。 所以，当他找到一份离家近点的新工作时，我为他感到高兴。
“太棒了，”我说。“你现在做什么工作？”
“开公交车”。
Free entertainment
As a rookie in the Atlantic City, N.J., Police department, I was assigned a beat on the boardwalk. Hardly a day went by when I didn‘t come upon a child who had become separated from his parents.
One afternoon, I spotted a small boy standing alone, obviously lost. I tried to gain his confidence – I took him to the nearest ice-cream stand and bought him a cone. Time passed with no sign of the boy‘s parents, so the next step was to call for a patrol car to take him to headquarters. I told the small fry to stay put while I went to the call box. When I returned, he was nowhere in sight.
Within minutes, the car arrived, and one of the patrolmen asked me where the child was. I felt stupid; it‘s humiliating to say you‘ve lost a lost child. But I told the officers what had happened and gave a description of the boy. “What did you treat him?” asked one of the men. “An ice-cream cone. Why?” “Because,” answered the officer, “that kid lives only a few blocks from here, and you‘ve about the fifth rookie he‘s conned for a treat!”
翻译：
免费款待
我是新泽西州大西洋城警察局的一名新警察。我被指派巡逻一条海滨的路线，几乎每天都能碰上与父母走散的孩子。
一天下午，我发现一个小孩独自站在那里，显然是迷了路。我先是设法取得他的信任－我带他到附近的冰淇淋摊给他买了一个蛋筒。过了很长时间，也没看见他父母的影子，所以我就准备打电话叫辆巡逻车将他送回总部去。我告诉他站在那里别动，我去电话亭打电话。当我回来时，却发现他不知道到哪儿去了。
警车很快来了。一名警察问我小孩在哪里。我感觉自己傻极了，说自己弄丢了一个迷路的小孩，该多丢人啊！但我还是告诉了警察们所发生的一切，并描述了一下小孩的长相。“你请他吃了什么？”一名警察问。
“一个冰淇淋蛋筒。怎么啦？”
“因为，”那名警察说，“那个小孩住的地方离这儿只隔几个街区。而你大概是新警察中帮他买东西吃的第五个傻瓜蛋！”
