The Cemetery Shortcut
Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.
Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows.
Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.
“Holy cow, Mister,” one of them said after catching his breath, “You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?”
“Those fools!” the old man grumbled. “They misspelled my name!”
翻译：
为抄近路走墓地
万圣节派对过后，两男人图个乐呵，打算抄近路穿过墓地回家。
走到墓地中央时，他们被从迷雾中传来的“答、答、答”声惊吓到了。
正当两人害怕得浑身颤抖时，他们看到是个老头拿着铁锤和凿子，在一块墓石上凿着什么。
“哇塞，先生，”其中一人喘了口气说，“你把我们吓得半死啊，我们还以为遇上鬼了呢！那么晚了你在这里做什么？”
“那帮白痴！”老头抱怨道，“他们把我名字拼错啦！”
my capital has been frozen
My cousin always “borrows” money from her older brother‘s piggy bank, which drives him crazy.
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.
Inside was this note: “Dear sister, I hope you‘ll understand, but my capital has been frozen.”
翻译：
我的资产现在已被冻结
我表妹总是从她哥哥的小猪扑满里“借钱”，她哥哥对此事感到很愤怒。
一天，表妹四处寻找，最后竟然在冰箱里发现了扑满。
扑满里有张纸条：“亲爱的妹妹，我希望你能够理解，我的资产现在已被冻结。”
Understand Him
While eating in a restaurant, I reprimanded my four-year-old son for speaking with his mouth full . “Mump umn Kmpfhm,” was all I heard.
“Drew,” I scolded, “no one can understand a word you‘re saying.
“He says he wants some ketchup,” my husband said calmly .
A woman sitting nearby leaned over and asked, “How in the world did you understand him?”
“I‘m a dentist,” my husband explained.（英语笑话带翻译 www.lyy5.com ）
翻译：
我懂他的话
在饭店吃饭的时候，我申斥我4岁的儿子，因为他满嘴食物在说话。“喔、呢”，我听到的就是这些。 “祖，”我责备道，“没人明白你在说什么。”
“他说他要一些番茄酱，”我丈夫平静地说。坐在旁边的一位妇女靠过来问道：“你究竟如何明白他的话的呢？” “我是牙医。”我丈夫解释道。
