A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I‘m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,…” “And I said to keep quiet! You‘re going to jail!” A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief‘s at his daughter‘s wedding. He‘ll be in a good mood when he gets back.” “Don‘t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I‘m the groom.”
警察在小镇上拦下了一个在主街上减速驾驶的人，“但是，警官，”那个男子说道：“我能解释原因。”“闭嘴”，警察不耐烦地说道“我得把你关进牢房让你坐冷板凳，直到警长回来。”但是，警官，我想说的是……”“我告诉过你让你闭嘴。你得进监狱。”几个小时后，警察来看那个被关押的男子，“你很幸运，警长去参加他女儿的婚礼了，他回来时心情会很好。”“不要提那件事了”被关押的男子说道：“我正是新郎”。
篇二：五年级英语小笑话带翻译
You‘re Not Going to Make it
Gravely ill, a man went to the doctor with his wife. After the examination the physicianmotioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway.
“Your husband is very sick, ” the doctor said, “but there are three things you can do toensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him astress-free environment , and don‘t complain about anything. Finally, make passionate loveto him every day.
On the drive home the husband asked, “What did the doctor say?”
“I‘m sorry, ” she said, “but you‘re not going to make it.”
你活不成了
一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。
“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”
在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么?”
“很遗憾，”妻子说，“你活不成了。”
篇三：五年级英语小笑话带翻译
An Adult Decision
The year before my son turned 18, he constantly pleaded to be allowed to a tattoo, but I refused to sign permission for one. He argued that soon he would be a man and he should be able to make adult decisions. Sure enough, a few days after his 18th birthday, he come home with a tattoo. Although I was not happy about this, I was curious to see what symbol of masculinity he had chosen. There, on his shoulder, was a two-inch image of Mickey Mouse.
成年人的抉择
我儿子十八岁前的那一年，他常常向我提出准许他文身。但我拒绝允许他这样做。他争辩说他不久就要成为男子汉了，并说他应该能够作出成年人的抉择了。果然，十八岁生日的几天后，他文了身，回到家里。尽管我对此感到不高兴，但出于好奇，我想看看他选择了什么雄性象征物。原来是他在肩上文了一个两英寸长的米老鼠像。
篇四：五年级英语小笑话带翻译
A lawyer‘s dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast.Butcher goes to lawyer‘s office and asks, “If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meatfrom my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog‘s owner?” Thelawyer answers, “Absolutely.” “Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roastfrom me today.” The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Severaldays later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for aconsultation.
律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写道：咨询费250美元。
