Night after night, she came to tuck me in, even long after my childhood years. Following her longstanding custom, she'd lean down and push my long hair out of the way, then kiss my forehead.
I don't remember when it first started annoying me —— her hands pushing my hair that way. But it did annoy me, for they felt work-worn and rough against my young skin. Finally, one night, I lashed out at her: "Don't do that anymore —— your hands are too rough!" She didn't say anything in reply. But never again did my mother close out my day with that familiar expression of her love. Lying awake long afterward, my words haunted me. But pride stifled my conscience, and I didn't tell her I was sorry.
Time after time, with the passing years, my thoughts returned to that night. By then I missed my mother's hands, missed her goodnight kiss upon my forehead. Sometimes the incident seemed very close, sometimes far away. But always it lurked, hauntingly, in the back of my mind.
Well, the years have passed, and I'm not a little girl anymore. Mom is in her mid-seventies, and those hands I once thought to be so rough are still doing things for me and my family. She's been our doctor, reaching into a medicine cabinet for the remedy to calm a young girl's stomach or soothe a boy's scraped knee. She cooks the best fried chicken in the world…… gets stains out of blue jeans like I never could……and still insists on dishing out ice cream at any hour of the day or night.
Through the years, my mother's hands have put in countless hours of toil, and most of hers were before automatic washers!
Now, my own children are grown and gone. Mom no longer has Dad, and on special occasions, I find myself drawn next door to spend the night with her. So it was that late on Thanksgiving Eve, as I drifted into sleep in the bedroom of my youth, a familiar hand hesitantly stole across my face to brush the hair from my forehead. Then a kiss, ever so gently, touched my brow.
In my memory, for the thousandth time, I recalled the night my surly young voice complained: "Don't do that anymore —— your hands are too rough!" Catching Mom's hand in hand, I blurted out how sorry I was for that night. I thought she'd remember, as I did. But Mom didn't know what I was talking about. She had forgotten —— and forgiven —— long ago.
That night, I fell asleep with a new appreciation for my gentle mother and her caring hands. And the guilt I had carried around for so long was nowhere to be found.
翻译:
夜复一夜,她总是来帮我来盖被子,即使我早已长大。这是妈妈的长期习惯,她总是弯下身来,拨开我的长发,在我的额上一吻。
我不记得从何时起,她拨开我的头发令我非常不耐烦。但的确,我讨厌她长期操劳、粗糙的手摩擦我细嫩的皮肤。最后,一天晚上,我冲她叫: “别再这样了——你的手太粗糙了!”她什么也没说。但妈妈再也没有象这样对我表达她的爱。直到很久以后,我还是常想起我的那些话。但自尊占了上风,我没有告诉她我很后悔。
时光流逝,我又想到那个晚上。那时我想念我妈妈的手,想念她晚上在我额上的一吻。有时这幕情景似乎很近,有时又似乎很遥远。但它总是潜伏着,时常浮现,出现在我意识中。
一年年过去,我也不再是一个小女孩,妈妈也有70多岁了。那双我认为很粗糙的手依然为我和我家庭做着事。她是我家的医生,为我女儿在药橱里找胃药或在我儿子擦伤的膝盖上敷药。她能烧出世界上最美味的鸡…… 将牛仔裤弄干净而我却永远不能……而且可以在任何时候盛出冰激凌。
这么多年来,妈妈的手做了多少家务!而且在自动洗衣机出现以前她已经操劳了绝大多数时间。
现在,我的孩子都已经长大,离开了家。爸爸去世了,有些时候,我睡在妈妈的隔壁房间。一次感恩节前夕的深夜,我睡在年轻时的卧室里,一只熟悉的手有些犹豫地、悄悄地略过我的脸,从我额头上拨开头发,然后一个吻,轻轻地印在我的眉毛上。
在我的记忆中,无数次,想起那晚我粗暴、年青的声音:“别再这样了——你的手太粗糙了!”抓住妈妈的手,我冲口而出因为那晚,我是多么后悔。我以为她想起来了,象我一样。但妈妈不知道我在说些什么。她已经在很久以前就忘了这事,并早就原谅了我。
那晚,我带着对温柔母亲和体贴双手的感激入睡。这许多年来我的负罪感已经消失无踪。
Tags:母亲 双手